Sunday, January 29, 2012

First blog in a while? Let's make this uncomfortable.

I don't have much time to blog anymore.
Correction: I don't make time to blog anymore.


However, I am in Soc 219, which is the Sociology of Intimate Relationships and Sexuality.  It's a fascinating course, if you wanted to know. But it brings to mind some issues that are especially pertinent to people my age. I am not going to apologize for how sudden or harsh this blog will come across because quite frankly this PISSES ME OFF.


Did you know that one in four women in college will be victims of attempted or actual sexual assault by the time they graduate? Think about that in terms of women you know how have graduated from college, and then the statistic seems even scarier.


Before you begin to tell me that these cases are the women's fault, consider this.  What if your sister or close friend got a little out of control one night at a party? Maybe her shirt was a little too low cut, her skirt riding a little too high. At a party she mistakenly trusts the wrong person, and she becomes a victim. Would you blame her? Would you tell her it was her fault, that she should have been more careful? Or would you have a bigger problem with the rapist? If you are more upset with the victim, that is very revealing of a major problem in our society. (I apologize for the grandiose statement, but it's true.) For some reason, we seem to believe that if a woman is dressed in a risque fashion or has had too much to drink, she is immediately responsible for being assaulted instead of the actual assaulter. 


I'm going to go ahead and say this right now. No person, male or female, straight or LGBT, ever deserves to be violated. The circumstances don't matter. They were too drunk to say no. Perhaps they were dressed slutty so they were "asking for it". Maybe they liked someone, but in the heat of the moment things happened too fast.


That being said, if anyone ever confides in you that he or she was sexually assaulted, your first questions shouldn't be "What did you do?" or "How could you let this happen?" Instead, be supportive. Your friend needs your help now more than ever. Encourage the victim to call 911 and report the rape. This is important because most people do not sexually assault. However, serial rapists exist, and if they go unpunished, they could potentially keep on abusing other people.


Back to helping your friend. Talk to them. Don't judge them. The assault was not their fault. It's hard and it's scary, but it is so important to be there for your friend. If you or any of your friends have ever been a victim of sexual assault, I am so, so sorry.


But what can we do about it? I'm only one person. On my own, my opinion can only go so far. This problem goes deep... It is perpetuated in jokes like "If she didn't say no, it's okay" and other sayings like that. If you ever see or hear of immoral practices going on, speak up. Voice your opinion. This won't change unless we make it happen.


Phew. First blog in a long time, and I choose an issue like this? Goodness. Anyway. If any of you want to talk about any of this, ask me questions or argue with me, by all means. It's so important that we talk about this issue and get it out in the open.  Thanks for reading, guys. ♥


**I apologize to all of my grammar-crazy family and friends about using 'them' as a singular pronoun over and over, but I didn't want to have to distinguish between men and women. baha